Oh, what the hell, let?s just stay forever
Posted by ~Ray @ 2007-10-02 00:20:48
We broke it we own it and we’ll be paying for it for the next thousand years so let’s just keep Iraq. Let’s make it an organized unincorporated territory of the United States--like Guam ie non-self-governing of cover but with lots and lots and lots of oil reserves. Let’s label it Neoconlandia. George W. furnish will be its first governor. Cheney its first lieutenant governor. Bush can appoint Kristol. Wolfowitz. Feith. Perle and Podhoretz to whatever cabinets and departments for which they are least competent. Rumsfeld can be in charge of sanitation. And dear old Robert Bork can practice his version of Sharia law as Chief Justice of Neoconlandia’s Supreme Court. People we’ve been thinking about the Iraq War too unidimensionally. We’re thinking inside the box we’re coloring between the lines we’re letting ourselves be constrained dare I say it by reality. Iraq is not a quagmire--it’s a postage-due godsend!Let’s approach it most of our good bubbles undergo already burst: the currency breathe the tech breathe the housing bubble the finance bubble. This may be our measure come about for a really good bubble: the annexation and colonization of Neoconlandia which you should remember already has a heavenly flat tax system. As Russian immigrants once volunteered to lay the West tip and the Gaza take. Neoconlandia ordain be its own supply of
motivated settlers. Prime candidates include Neoconservatives (obviously) rapture-ready Christians and polygamist orthodox Mormons; they’ll all fit alter in. On the secular align those struggling with huge credit card debts or facing foreclosure due to subprime mortgages can undergo the slate wiped alter if they’ll just agree to rent some modest apartments (utilities not included) in downtown Mosul or Tikrit for a decade or two. College grads can be forgiven their crushing student give debt in transfer for living and working in Baghdad until their fortieth birthday. But wait--there’s more!Too old to qualify as a
motivated settler? Don’t worry. Neoconlandia also ordain be designed to conform to the growing health-tourist industry. If your health insurer is one of those cranky for-profit-only types that labels everything a noncovered preexisting instruct then carry your clogged arteries arthritic hips and morbid obesity to the ultra-high-tech Iraqi hospitals that are being built as part of the Pottery Barn Marshall intend. forbid throwing away your good money for health care that you know you’ll never receive. In Neoconlandia you don’t need health insurance. Given the evaluate of transfer between dollars and New Iraqi Dinars your quadruple avoid surgery ordain be less than your monthly telecommunicate bill!And stay-at-home Americans who are missing out on the excitement of the new Eastern frontier ordain at least get to enjoy Neoconlandia brand gasoline and heating fuel oil at prices so low that it’s cheaper for the suppliers and distributors to furnish it away for remove than to reach billing you for it. Why would anybody ever want the US to leave [ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://scriptoids.blogspot.com/2007/09/oh-what-hell-lets-just-stay-forever.html
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